


This December

by testedcyberneticz



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Idk how to write riptide so I will project, LL Multiverse Ending, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, and do my damn best, or more mentions of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26931289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/testedcyberneticz/pseuds/testedcyberneticz
Summary: Which, in the end, is why he was surprised that his request to see if they could visit this universe's Delphi was actually easily accepted. Which also, really, sounded like a god damn terrible idea. Thunderclash had looked worried, Rodimus confused, Drift questioning, and all that. Which he guessed was fair. Why would someone want to go back to somewhere that was buried in deep amounts of trauma? It was the reason why no one else really had recommendations for anywhere to go, specifically because every place they knew of was buried in trauma. And no one wanted to go to Cybertron.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	This December

First Aid, after everything that had happened to him on or relating to the Lost Light, learned that he simply shouldn't expect things. Not because of some nihilistic view on the world, and especially not because he was a completely pessimistic person either. These were untrue statements that weren't truly supported. No, it was because the Lost Light was a bizarre phenomenon in and of itself. 

If you expected something from the Lost Light, there was no reason to, and no way you could tell it would happen at all. Usually, if you had expectations for something, there was a reason. There was evidence and support for it. This was not the case for the Lost Light. There was an issue of it being void of evidence in regards to expectations. And it wasn't even on purpose. The crew members and those in charge were just like that, magnets for the unexpected. 

And First Aid, in an odd way, enjoyed it even though he shouldn't. As a doctor he shouldn't, as a nurse he shouldn't, as Chief Medical Officer he shouldn't. The unexpected was dangerous. Evidence had been propped in front of his face before in the thick, disgusting image of mass amounts of energon weeping from the bodies of those he cared about the most. But without the unexpected, life wasn't exactly life. 

And the unexpected was accepting things such as that grief wouldn't truly leave him, and that was fine. Past him would've punched him square in the face for that, probably. But it was what happened. It had been hundreds of years by the end of the first adventure, and the beginning of the next. And after all that time, the grief of those who had been lost, those who he sometimes blamed on himself if not always, only numbed. It didn't escape, leave, or move away. It stayed in place stubbornly. And sure, he could ask for better, but should he? He decided one day that the answer was no, in fear of the true death of Ambulon along with it.

Which, in the end, is why he was surprised that his request to see if they could visit this universe's Delphi was actually easily accepted. Which also, really, sounded like a god damn terrible idea. Thunderclash had looked worried, Rodimus confused, Drift questioning, and all that. Which he guessed was fair. Why would someone want to go back to somewhere that was buried in deep amounts of trauma? It was the reason why no one else really had recommendations for anywhere to go, specifically because every place they knew of was buried in trauma. And no one wanted to go to Cybertron. 

First Aid's reason was only a silly hope. One where maybe, just maybe, something different had happened. Where maybe there was a happier ending, no matter how slight it was compared to his own. It was a hope that had no evidence or support, but one he wanted to follow through with. And it wasn't like he didn't understand. It could be worse than his own. He would live with that. He would continue with that information because when he didn't, the people he missed the most couldn't either. 

And that said, it did take them awhile. Their navigator simply didn't work because they were in an entirely new universe. It wasn't like they could go to any specific place without interruptions. But that also isn't to say that Delphi was never found. It eventually was.

And First Aid could say that because the ship was landing on a world that looked exactly like Messatine, a building in the distance. It was exciting and terrifying. He was looking out the window glass as the ship landed, prepping tools for the trip. Ratchet's hand was on his shoulder in the same manner as how he had seen human parents act on the tv in Swerve's bar. Some things stayed between species, he guessed. 

"I can go with you." Ratchet offered as the ship began to settle. 

"No." Said First Aid quickly, "You already went through that. Besides, Riptide decided to come with me." 

Ratchet took his hand off First Aid's shoulder and was staring at him with some level of disapproval and poorly hidden worry, his arms crossing across his chest. First Aid wasn't surprised. This was either the least dangerous thing he'd ever done, or one of the most. There was several possibilities going on here. Which is why the ship was so close to the original building, and that there was a group of mecha set up and ready to run in and rescue them. He had overheard Ultra Magnus asking if there was a safer way about this multiple times, which he understood. Everyone had experienced death too much by now. 

"If it seems even close to dangerous, we'll get out immediately. There's also the scanner, y'know, the one that scans for disease. We won't get red rust again." First Aid explained while Ratchet looked half way deep in thought, "And. If we do get it somehow. We have the antidote." 

"You better." The old, retired medic decided on after some time. First Aid smiled under his mask at Ratchet's concern, internally marking it down for later. 

"I'll take that as doctor's orders." He quipped the moment the ship finally landed, a slight shake moving through the entire ship. He noticed a slight change in Ratchet's frame movement as Ratchet let out a vent like that of a sigh.

"What are you going to do, make me un-retire so it is?" He said, and despite the stress, Ratchet's mouth twitched upwards. 

"Maybe." First Aid tested taking his scanner and some energon out then back into his unspace.

"That's doctor's orders." Said Ratchet suddenly.

First Aid's visor flickered once, "... Did you just un-retire?" 

"Im retired again now." Ratchet corrected.

"What?" He half laughed, and he would be damned if Ratchet hadn't laughed a little as well just now.

"I un-retired then retired again," He then waved a hand as he began walking away from First Aid and into one of the halls of the Lost Light, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to guide my conjux outside." First Aid followed some seconds behind out into the hall as well.

The first thing First Aid noticed while in the hall was Drift running up to Ratchet excitedly yet calmly, then his hand immediately grabbing for the ex-medic's. Other mecha were slowly pouring into the halls too, ones who probably wanted to just get outside of the ship. One could only stay inside the Lost Light for so long, after all. He began actually making his way down the hall, trying desperately to swallow his anxiety about the entire situation. 

He reached up to the side of his head, "Riptide, are you outside?" 

"Yep!" Came Riptide's response from the other side of the comms. 

"Okay, I'll be there soon." He completed, then turned off his comms as he walked.

Suddenly from behind him, the loud and familiar noise of a jet taking off blasted from behind him. On reflex, First Aid ducked as a purple-pink jet zoomed past him, followed by a large dinobot and five other scavengers desperately trying to catch up without transforming into their alt-mode. Specifically, because transforming and flying, or driving, was incredibly dangerous when several people were leaving the ship at once. 

Krok very shortly skidded to a stop, gave him a slightly apologetic look, looked as though he was going to say something, realized he was falling behind, and as quickly as possible then continued running with the rest of the group. Only seconds later did he hear the familiar shocked yelling of Ultra Magnus desperately trying to get someone to follow the rules. And failing.

He made his way outside the ship, the familiar snow and air of Messatine mocking him. And yet it felt... Off. _Wrong_. 

There was a crowd outside either way. Rodimus and Megatron stood together close to the entrance of the ship, probably briefing everyone on the plan of what was going to happen. Ultra Magnus was scolding Misfire in what would be an exaggerated way were it anyone else giving it. The other scavengers, besides Nickel because she was probably off with Roller, looked halfway to exasperated. He also noticed to the left of Misfire, Whirl had just thrown snow in Cyclonus' face while Tailgate watched. 

"'Aid!" Yelled Riptide as he ran over out of the crowd of Lost Lighters, a smile on his face. First Aid immediately felt a sense of relief, no matter how small. Riptide was a comforting kind of person.

"Hey." He waved as Riptide finally caught up to him, "Are you still sure you want to go?" 

"Yep." Riptide sounded confident.

"There could be corpses. And diseases. And dying." He said bluntly, the words feeling forgein in his mouth. Truly, he was hoping it wasn't just everything all over again. He was hoping time had passed in this universe too from since then. It was weird, to consider the possibility that it hadn't, that time for whatever reason or the other hadn't passed. Because, after all, there always was the possibility that while they had traveled via multiverse, it could be half time travel. Or something. He was Chief Medical Officer, not a scientist.

"I'm good at emotional support! So we'll be fine." Riptide smiled goofily, and First Aid couldn't help smiling under his mask either. He knew Riptide knew how to fight, just that that part was left out from his words.

"Okay, but we need to be careful. Last time I was here there was a plague. It was back in the other universe but... Yeah. We see anything dangerous, we leave." He could feel the stress making his hands grip and ungrip themselves. 

"It wouldn't happen again, it already did..." Said Riptide quietly, mostly to himself, as he poked his finger on his chin, his mouth a tiny line.

"Alternate universe, so it can happen again." 

"Oh, right. Okay, I think I get it." 

And people, because of reactions like that, might question why exactly he let and had encouraged Riptide to come with him. With that simply being Riptide was someone he could trust. Someone who he _trusted_. He felt like, honestly and truly, he couldn't do this alone. But he wasn't going to let Ratchet or Drift come along. That would be repetition, not to mention unfair to them, they had already gone through it. Though that wasn't exactly to say it was fair to Riptide either. In fact, it could never be fair to anyone, but it could be less fair depending on the person. 

Not to mention the fact Pipes having been Riptide's friend was probably a reason for why he was coming. Apparently, they'd been close friends. And Delphi was a part of Pipe's past life after all. Riptide heard that quite a lot, First Aid remembered the days where he seemed to feel terrible.

Either way, though the ship landed close to the actual building this time, it was still quite a drive to there, and so they got their MARBs and drove.

And the snow was something else. It was scary how familiar it was, horrifying and almost disgusting, too. He barely noticed the way his hands felt tight and almost convulsed on the controls. 

"I think snow sucks." Said Riptide suddenly, his voice cutting across the silence like a knife, causing First Aid to be pulled from his thoughts violently and his hand to nearly slip on one of the control sticks. 

"What?" 

"Snow kind of sucks. I mean, y'know, submarine and all," He pointed to himself for a brief second, then put his hand back down, "But it just sucks. You can't swim in it good but you can't walk in it good either." 

"Huh?" First Aid let his visor flicker, "What?" 

"I'm the one who says that. You okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah I am," He lied, "Are you- are you implying you can _swim_ in _snow?"_

"Just stating facts." He shined that smile again. 

"I don't think that's how it works." 

It was Riptide's turn to be confused, "What?" 

"Snow is pretty solid."

"But isn't it water? I found this out at one of Megatron's lectures, the one Perceptor was part of." 

"I mean, yes but no." He gave. 

"I don't get it." 

"It's water frozen but not like ice. But it's still solid, you can't swim in it. It'd be too thick." 

"But it's still water." Said Riptide as they arrived, slowly pulling up to Delphi itself. 

First Aid got off his MARB, "In a way." As he finished speaking, he suddenly paused, blanked out, then began laughing. 

Riptide got off his MARB as well, then sent First Aid a look of confusion. Though, it felt important to note to himself at that moment that the confusion didn't have an ounce of offense in it. 

"Sorry I just- I just... We're going to where back in the other universe was just. A huge plague. And we almost died. And we're talking about if we can swim in snow." 

Riptide's expression was blank for a few seconds, then he let out a small laugh, "Wow. You're right!" And he laughed slightly more, but quickly calmed down.

"Thanks, honestly," First Aid said quickly, then before he could be interrupted spoke again while taking out his scanner and turning to the entrance of Delphi, "Okay, we need to actually look at the... _Oh_." By the time he finished talking, he was looking directly at the entrance of Delphi. Or, more specifically, an obviously homemade wall cover. It was... Adequate. But it wasn't ideal at all. 

But most importantly, it was missing an X on the "door". It was completely devoid of an X, or even signs of plague. Hell, the more he looked at it, the more he realized the entrance was shoveled. He felt the scanner fumble in his hand, his world was getting smaller and contained, each bit almost pulling and- 

"First Aid?" 

"Someone's here." 

"What?!" Exclaimed Riptide, and First Aid shakily pointed at the entrance. And by God, was this what dying felt like or something? Like the whole world was crashing down? Why was the feeling familiar to when he saw a chainsaw slice through Ambulon like it had been nothing? Like he had never existed at all? Like he hadn't even been a person in the first place? 

He felt Riptide grab his arm tightly, but comfortably, and tore himself from those thoughts as violently as possible. 

"Are you...?" 

"Sorry, I was thinking." 

"Too much thinking can suck." 

"Mhm." He began scanning the door for disease with his scanner, "Huh. That's... _Something_." 

"Is it bad something?" 

"No, it's good something. Which is why it's weird. There's no plague." 

"Oh. Cool." Riptide was smiling, "So do we go in?" 

"I... I don't know." 

"We came here for that, right? You said that was the plan, anyways." 

"Yeah but..." First Aid put his hand to where his nose would be if his mask was off, "I don't know what choice to make." 

"I think you'll make the right one. Choice. Like I think you'll. Yeah." Riptide fumbled with his words, then put his hands on his hips proudly. First Aid put his hands straight down to his sides, turned them into fists, and stood there for exactly 47 seconds. 

"Alright. I'm going to do open door surgery." First Aid decided after 47 seconds had passed, his decision made. Placing one hand on the door and the other with medical equipment from his subspace, he began. Riptide put his hands behind his head and watched excitedly at the somewhat odd process. 

"It's good we're made of metal, huh?" Said Riptide, and First Aid hummed in agreement as he finally hit the last corner with his lazer scalpel, the metal immediately popping out and slamming inwards, falling to the floor with a loud yet muted "BANG" that echoed oddly. 

And inside was... Clean. _Clean?!_ It was basically perfectly clean! There was a complete and total lack of corpses and people trudging around with their optics exploding with rusted liquid bursting from them! There wasn't desperate scratched, knocked over medical tools, or anything! 

The place practically looked brand new, and First Aid really didn't know how to feel about it. In fact, he swore it made his spark casing clench. Someone was here, and the entire building itself was proof. Unbridled proof. The idea, the mere thought, that someone was here made him stressed beyond relief now. But that wasn't to say he didn't want someone to be alive! He hoped, God, did he hope, that someone was alive. That someone had a better ending than what he and his co-workers got. But also someone being here could mean the possibility of Pharma still being alive in this universe. 

First Aid took out a blaster. He heard the noise of Riptide taking out his, too. The air around them was suddenly thick with tension, the clean and pristine walls suddenly feeling like a threat to them. It was best to prepare for the worst than die to it.

He was happy at the moment that Riptide was able to read the room, usually. Both moved throughout Delphi with quiet precision. Every so often, he let one hand be busy and scanned the area for disease, and always found none. Each and every time, the results came back perfectly fine. It unnerved him more than just greatly. First Aid ignored the voice that was telling him he might be too used to danger. 

It was only when he walked into the medbay. The same exact medbay where Pharma had ran off. The same exact medbay where Drift had been dying, Ratchet desperate to save him, only to survive on. The same exact medbay where Pipes had been dying, only to die at a later time. The same exact medbay where he and Ambulon had tried desperately to save the other patients. The same exact medbay where Fortress Maximus had woken up and immediately decapitated someone. It was only when he walked into the medbay where so much had began and ended, did he completely lose composure. 

Specifically because Ambulon was standing in it. 


End file.
